Chocolate
by LunaStellaCat
Summary: Remus Lupin boards the Hogwarts Express before anyone else on September first. Liked it? Any reviews are appreciated and make the my day.


**Written for Weekly Challenge #1 Marauder Week, Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Time possessed an interesting sense of humor. Remus, a Catholic who really wasn't a religious or faithful man, wondered if God laughed at him, too, for he would go through this the day he started his job. It was the best job offer he'd received, and Remus found himself in Professor Dumbledore's debt yet again. Standing on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, Remus rather thought it was a miracle he hadn't slept through the scarlet engine's arrival.

His mind wandered back into the past for a moment. The day he received his Hogwarts letter his father, Lyall, gave him one of those difficult lessons in life chats; Remus mentally stored these away as "chocolate conferences" because no matter how long winded his father got, Remus got a sweet at the end. Lyall had tossed the letter away after patiently explaining to Remus why he couldn't attend either magical or Muggle school. Professor Dumbledore, uninvited and nearly thrown out of the house, had changed all that.

Remus checked his watch and checked his stash on his knotted briefcase. Chuckling to himself, he found a note from his father and a large chocolate bar. He wasn't a kid anymore, for he was thirty-three, yet Lyall had always said he was his boy. Stowing the chocolate in his shabby robes and deciding to read through his dad's owl after arriving at the castle, Remus debated whether he had time to rest his eyes.

The Hogwarts Express moved into the King's Cross a minute later. Remus gave the conductor his ticket and smiled politely at the old man and the plump kindly witch who pushed the trolley.

"I remember you," she said jovially, slapping him on the arm.

Remus knew he looked like a completely different person than the sandy-haired young man who had stepped off of the train back in the day. He looked at least forty-five. If this woman asked him what he'd done with his sad life, was he really supposed to tell her he'd worked in two kitchens and scraped by the skin of his teeth?

"Nice to see you." Remus shifted his briefcase, a consignment shop find, and shook their hands. He followed them into the empty train and learned the conducted was called Liam O'Malley. How had this never crossed his mind when he was a Hogwarts student?

"Call me Cathy," said the trolley witch. Liam went back to his last minute preparations and they ventured into the train. Remus chose a compartment, the one he, James, Sirius, and Peter used to share on September first, and placed his luggage in the rack. Cathy flashed him a knowing smile and shook her finger playfully at him. "No stealing."

Remus, still smiling, pulled his tattered traveling cloak from his briefcase and sat down. In truth, he'd never actually stolen food before; James and Sirius had nicked the kitchens and carried the loot back. Although he was sure there were many times, Remus only remembered the one time when James had slipped on his old Invisibility Cloak and the trolley witch had accidentally trodden on the treasure's hem. She'd missed it, of course, but four boys had shared a good laugh, especially when Peter shot fizzy drink up his nose.

"No, ma'am. No, Miss Cathy," said Remus, editing with the newly acquired name; he neither confirmed nor denied anything.

"See? You were the good one in your little gang," she said, patting him on the shoulder and already focused on a roll of parchment. Cathy wasn't really listening to him anymore, and she got lost in her tasks. "You heard about that Sirius Black sighting?"

Remus, who had been about to close his eyes, sat up a little straighter. She remembered he was a troublemaker, but the trolley witch didn't recall Sirius being one of the most influential Marauders? Interesting. Pulling a straight face, ready to deny he'd known Sirius Black at all, Remus studied her face and drummed nervously on the back of the seat in front of him.

Remus pulled a bored expression. A werewolf, he stayed a marked man, and he didn't need Black ruining the school year for him. The staff had been warned of his condition, of course, yet this plan was fraught with complications. It was too late now, of course, but was it really a good idea to have a tame werewolf among the staff? Remus needed the money.

She didn't press the matter, which was nice, but he couldn't exactly pretend he didn't know Sirius, could he? Old Cathy might think he'd been living underneath a rock! Really, he'd been living under Mrs. Ross's reduced rent in a dilapidated place in Wales. He didn't elaborate on that either and kept his mouth shut.

"I didn't catch that." Embarrassed, he'd seen her mouth moving and didn't hear a thing as he dozed somewhere in this sweet spot in between dreams and wakefulness; his plan of smiling politely and nodding until she lost interest failed him. "Sorry. What was that?"

"You don't look so good, dearie," said the trolley witch, cocking her head like a dog. She'd noticed. Remus's palms sweated, for he hadn't been asleep for days and tried not to sleep during transformations. "Are you all right?"

 _No, Cathy, I'm never all right_ , thought Remus, resting his head on the window. Sleep evaded him like a Kneazle catching a gnome, and his stomach grumbled and betrayed him as an unexpected jolt, the last wave, shot through him. The cycle effects were fading, for last night was the third night of the full moon cycle, yet they still remained. _You don't want to know, and I really wish you'd shut up_.

"Perfectly fine, thanks," he lied, dropping the hint as he draped the cloak over himself. What would pass as a good excuse? He glanced at the cuts on his hands. As he invented whatever story, even though he knew in the back of his mind he was past what his father called his "time of the month", Remus's eyes darted towards the exit. "My cat got out."

"All right. You let me know if you need anything, Professor Lupin." She squeezed his shoulder and got on with her work. They needed to be done before ten o'clock because the kids started boarding soon.

Remus, exhausted, rested his head on the windowsill and nodded off. He slept like the dead, as his father said, so when he woke, the lights were off. Remus knew they weren't on the grounds yet and couldn't check the time in the darkness.

 _Daddy, Daddy_! The memory, eroded by the years never left him. As Remus remembered himself as a small boy in a bedroom, he felt the chill from an unopened window that wasn't there. The frame of the train and the students seemed to fade away. An ice cold chill filled his lungs, making it hard to breathe, and he wondered in an offhand way why James and Lily or other dead members of the Order of the Phoenix weren't visiting him at this moment. _This isn't happening_.

Suddenly, the faces of his old friends filled his mind, filling him with a warm happiness he often felt from good chocolate. Sirius, cool and laidback, leaned against the birch tree by the Black Lake. James sat there, and despite the fact he was Chaser, he played absentmindedly with the Snitch. Peter, his small nose in a book, complained about a failed mark, and Remus actually smelled the summer's day as he stepped out into the sunlight. Fighting a smirk, Remus turned his wand on the Dementor, performed the Patronus Charm with little effort so he achieved an indistinct form on purpose, and shot it at the creature as he shouted at it.

His eyes met Lily's eyes as he explained the situation. He'd met Harry Potter before, of course, though Harry had been a baby and couldn't possibly remember him. Remus still got thrown off about how extraordinarily this kid resembled James. Remus stopped himself, kicking himself mentally for almost uttering James's name and slipping back into the guise of carefree Moony.

He took out the chocolate, snapped it, and passed it out to the students in the compartment. He gave Harry a larger chunk. He recognized Frank's kid, too, and at that point, things started feeling really bizarre, do he needed to get out of there and catch his breath. Crumbling the wrapper and stowing it away, Remus muttered about seeing the conductor. As he headed through the train, Remus decided that if Frank and James were dead, Moony died with them, too. Remus rather wished he kept a bit of chocolate.


End file.
